How will InBev’s purchase of Anheuser-Busch affect your life? Not much, Boston Globe columnist Alex Beam says in a piece published Tuesday.

Check out this pretty humorous breakdown of InBev takeover of Anheuser-Busch by Beam — who is definitely not a fan of either company or the mass produced lagers they produce.

Beam’s basic point is this. Since both companies make pretty dull beers, what is the difference if two companies become one? Is Bud or Bud Light better than Stella Artois, or are they all non-descript beers built on marketing campaigns? You won’t notice any difference, Beam says, in his helpful Q & A format.

Here is a preview from Beam’s column.

“Q. The Belgians have said they will dump "noncore" assets of the new company to pay off debt. Could the plodding, overbred Clydesdales be heading for the glue factory?

A. It's more likely the interlopers will dump A-B's "fun" parks, including notorious mammalian prison camps such as SeaWorld. Why would Anheuser abandon its trademark, slow-paced "image" advertising, in which August Busch IV stares into the camera and assures the viewer . . . something. I wouldn't know. Whenever his face comes on the TV, I head for the kitchen to yank an Anchor Steam porter out of the refrigerator.”

I got several more laughs out of the column — not a bad thing to have on a Wednesday morning.

This is the thing — the deal will most certainly impact people who live in St. Louis or work for any A-B facilities across the country, since InBev is all about cutting costs

But for us craft beer enthusiasts who live in the Treasure Valley, I don’t see how this deal affects us at all, unless InBev makes A-B divest themselves of the Widmer or Red Hook brands. And that would really just mean those beers wouldn’t have the shelf space they get as being part of the coveted A-B distribution network. My guess is we would still be able to drink them, due to our close proximity to Oregon and Washington.

With all the serious analysis going on about the deal out there, I just wanted to provide readers a little levity. Thanks Mr. Beam.